living in the now

I have to. Today I will pet my kitten, because tomorrow she may run away. Today I will hold Azara’s nephew in my arms and play with his miniature fingers, because he breathes like he is dying. Those miniature fingers may never grow. Today, I will read to Mafusu and his friends, because I love his toothless smile. I don’t know where he lives, so when he comes around whatever I do ceases to be important. Today I will stand in the rain and let it soak me to the marrow - God only knows when it will rain again. Today, my plans have changed. A young woman is in labor at the clinic. I will watch a human being open its eyes for the very first time. Today has been just like yesterday and may very well be the same as tomorrow. But today has changed my life.

You see, in Africa time goes backward, not forward. Who you are has little to do with who you aspire to be. Your 10-year plan is futile - you may not have 10 years. Who you are is a patchwork of your past. What you have seen, what you have heard and tasted, it all has value. It is why we get down on our knees and greet our elders. They are a treasure chest of knowledge.

So today I may laugh harder than I ever have before. My heart may shatter into a million little pieces. I may figure out how to cook rice without burning a layer at the bottom, who knows?

But today I am going to live for today. I have to.